The short answer
If sexual behaviour or porn use feels difficult to control and is harming everyday life, speak to a GP or qualified therapist. You do not need to decide that you have an addiction before asking for help. The ICD-11 includes compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, but liking sex, watching porn, having a high sex drive or enjoying consensual kink is not, by itself, a diagnosis. This guide is for adults aged 18 and over.
Start with what is happening and what you want to change: missed sleep, neglected responsibilities, relationship concerns or repeated difficulty keeping decisions you have made for yourself. Describe the effect rather than trying to fit a label. Support should take your concerns seriously without treating your sexuality as shameful or insisting that all adults should have the same interests or habits.
What the ICD-11 diagnosis means
The World Health Organization’s ICD-11 names compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, or CSBD, within impulse-control disorders. Its clinical requirements concern a persistent failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges and resulting behaviour, with marked distress or significant impairment. They are intended for clinical assessment, not a score a website can assign from a few answers.
The requirements distinguish this from high sexual interest alone. Distress entirely related to moral judgement or disapproval is not sufficient for the diagnosis. That distinction does not make shame or a relationship conflict unimportant; it means the clinician must understand what the distress is about rather than assume that an unusual interest is evidence of disorder.
For the wider distinction between an interest and a clinical problem, read kink, paraphilia and paraphilic disorder and ICD, DSM and community language. These are different classifications and questions. A person may need help with loss of control, anxiety or a relationship disagreement without wanting to abandon a consensual adult identity.
Why sex addiction is a contested term
The phrase sex addiction is used in everyday discussion and by some services, but it is not the ICD-11 name for CSBD. WHO’s placement under impulse-control disorders is different from simply declaring all difficult sexual behaviour an addiction. The label can therefore imply a model that should not be assumed before assessment. Ask a provider what they mean, how they assess concerns and why they consider their approach appropriate.
Plain descriptions often make the first appointment easier. Someone can say that they keep doing something despite wanting to stop, or that it is affecting work and relationships, without committing to an explanation of brain chemistry. Avoid services that promise a universal cure or diagnose people simply because they admit viewing porn or having a particular interest.
Problem porn use is about the problem, not a universal quota
When considering porn use, separate frequency from its consequences and from feelings about the material. There is no viewing-hours threshold supplied by this guide. Ask what you are trying to understand: whether use feels chosen, whether important parts of life are being displaced, whether a relationship agreement needs discussion, or whether shame is the main concern.
The glossary entry on pornography literacy explains why a depiction is not a guide to another person’s wishes. Porn literacy and expectations addresses the gap between media and real relationships. Neither page diagnoses the viewer or establishes that any single kind of legal adult content creates a disorder.
You can ask for help before consequences become severe. Equally, a partner’s dislike of porn does not on its own diagnose the person using it. A relationship may need an honest agreement about privacy, boundaries or compatibility. That conversation and a clinical assessment have different purposes; neither should be used to force another adult to accept something unwanted.
Signs that deserve a conversation with a professional
Consider bringing a concern to a GP when repeated difficulty controlling behaviour is accompanied by meaningful distress or disruption. Useful things to describe include time being taken away from responsibilities, health or financial consequences, unsuccessful attempts to keep your own limits, or feeling that you continue without wanting the outcome. These observations are information for assessment, not a diagnostic checklist.
Try to distinguish what you chose from what you felt unable to choose, and what harm actually occurred from what you fear others might think. It can help to note a few recent examples in ordinary language, with approximate frequency and the effect on sleep, relationships or daily tasks. You do not need graphic details, images or a complete viewing history to begin explaining a concern.
The glossary terms sexual desire and sexual shame describe different experiences. A clinician should have room to explore both rather than assume they are interchangeable. If the main difficulty is guilt, rejection or a conflict between personal values and behaviour, say that clearly; it remains a legitimate reason to seek support.
Preparing for a GP appointment
Book an appointment and ask for enough privacy to discuss a sexual or mental-health concern. You can bring a short written note if speaking feels awkward, ask about communication support or explain which words you prefer. Start with the impact on your life and the help you are seeking, rather than trying to persuade the GP of a diagnosis.
Discuss what has changed, how long it has been difficult and whether there are other concerns about mood, stress or wellbeing. Bring questions about what assessment or referral is available locally and what you should do while waiting. If one appointment does not resolve the issue, ask what the next step is and whether a follow-up would be useful.
You can also ask how information is recorded and shared, and what the limits of confidentiality are. Do not assume a therapist, GP and relationship service have identical procedures. A respectful conversation can include your consensual interests without those interests becoming the target of treatment. Finding qualified, affirming support helps prepare questions about experience and professional boundaries.
NHS talking therapies and specialist support
NHS talking therapies involve working with a trained professional on thoughts, feelings and behaviour. In England, adults can self-refer to NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression, subject to the service’s requirements. That is a route for those problems, not a promise that every local service offers specialist CSBD treatment. A GP can help identify an appropriate route if the presenting concern falls outside a service’s remit.
In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, ask your GP or local health service about available psychological or psychosexual support rather than assuming the England self-referral pathway applies unchanged. Waiting times, referral criteria and specialist provision should be checked locally. No medicine, dose or particular treatment programme is recommended here.
For private support, COSRT’s member search lists registered relationship and psychosexual therapists. Ask about experience with compulsive sexual behaviour, assessment, consensual kink and the concern you actually have. Registration is not a claim that every member offers every specialism. The glossary entry on psychosexual therapy explains the term without selecting a provider for you.
Before booking, ask about qualifications, supervision, confidentiality, access needs, fees and cancellation arrangements. Agree what the work is meant to help with and how progress will be reviewed. Be cautious about certainty offered before any assessment, or a provider who treats their preferred label as something you must accept to receive care.
Relationships, boundaries and responsibility
If your behaviour has affected a partner, allow them to describe the effect without asking them to become your clinician or monitor. Decide which conversations need to happen together and which concerns need individual support. A partner can ask for space, decline intimacy or change an agreement; seeking help does not oblige them to provide reassurance or remain in the relationship.
Relate’s current website offers relationship counselling routes, including online counselling for adults in England and Wales. It can be a place to enquire about relationship concerns, but this is not a guarantee of specialist CSBD provision or a replacement for a health assessment. Ask what service is available and whether it fits the problem you want to discuss.
An explanation of distress does not excuse unwanted conduct. Keep other adults’ consent, privacy and freedom to decline central while you seek help. Do not promise changes on someone else’s behalf, share their private information in a public support group or turn a disagreement into evidence that they must accept your behaviour. Accountability and non-judgemental support can coexist.
If the word gooning prompted your concern, read the meaning-led gooning guide. The slang alone cannot establish a problem; the consequences and difficulty stopping are the issues to discuss with support services.
Common questions
Does a high sex drive mean CSBD? No. High interest alone does not establish the ICD-11 disorder. A professional assesses control, distress, impairment and the wider circumstances.
Is all porn use an addiction? No. A description of viewing does not establish a diagnosis. Explain the actual concern and its consequences rather than assuming the label.
Can shame alone establish the diagnosis? Distress entirely arising from moral judgement or disapproval is insufficient for CSBD. Shame can still deserve support in its own right.
Do I need a diagnosis before seeing a therapist? No. You can seek help for distress or relationship concerns and ask whether further assessment is appropriate.
Will NHS talking therapies provide specialist treatment? Provision varies. In England, self-referral for anxiety and depression is available, but specialist CSBD care is not guaranteed; ask a GP or the local service.
UK help
Start with a GP for assessment and local referral questions. In England, the NHS talking-therapies directory can help with self-referral for anxiety and depression. Across the UK, COSRT’s registered member search and Relate’s current service information offer further enquiries, with eligibility and specialism checked before booking.
For urgent mental-health help in England, NHS guidance directs people to 111 and the mental-health option. Elsewhere, use your nation’s urgent mental-health route or local service; the UK help directory brings those routes together. Call 999 or go to A&E if someone’s life is at risk or you cannot keep yourself or another person safe.
Samaritans offers free emotional support on 116 123, day or night. You can ask for support without adopting a sex-addiction label, proving that an interest is normal or promising that you will never feel desire again. The aim is to understand the concern and find qualified help suited to your circumstances.