A term for positive feelings about another person's pleasure or relationship. It may coexist with jealousy and is not required for ethical non-monogamy. The word describes an emotion someone may recognise, not a promise to feel happy or accept a relationship arrangement they do not want.
Sources and evidence type
Manual claim and limitation notes are shown where an individual source audit is complete. Other evidence-type labels are a publisher aid awaiting source-by-source confirmation.
Flicker et al. (2021), COMPERSe scale developmentResearch study
Source design
Peer-reviewed research or review
What it can support
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
Open the original source NHS Every Mind Matters: healthy relationships and boundariesProfessional guidance
Source design
Professional guidance · source record checked manually
What it can support
General communication, checking understanding and support boundaries.
Important limitation
Not activity-specific safety research or a validation of a kink label.
Destination checked
15 October 2026
Open the original source Mental Health Foundation: communication and respect for boundariesProfessional guidance
Source design
Professional guidance · source record checked manually
What it can support
General listening and boundary-setting principles.
Important limitation
Does not establish clinical effects, causes or safety of a particular activity.
Illustration created using generative AI; not documentary evidence.
In brief
Positive feeling for another's connection—optional and emotionally mixed.
Compersion can include warmth, joy, interest or satisfaction when a partner experiences pleasure or connection elsewhere. It is not simply the absence or opposite of jealousy, and it need not be constant. Treating it as a performance standard can turn a useful word into pressure.
Not the opposite of jealousy
People can feel compersion and jealousy at the same time, or move between them. An emotion does not by itself determine whether an agreement is working.
Jealousy can be explored for information about needs or fears without treating it as failure. Compersion likewise should not be used to silence concerns.
Status
Source-checked editorial page
Publisher
The UK Kink Guide
Reviewed
Targeted additions checked 15 October 2026
Evidence
5 cited sources · types labelled below
Jurisdiction
UK-focused general education
Read the rest: evidence, law, safety and sources
Compersion
Positive emotion connected to a partner's pleasure or another relationship.
Jealousy
A varied emotional response that may involve fear, anger, sadness, insecurity or threatened value.
Indifference
Little positive or negative response; it is not evidence of deficient care.
Approval
A judgement or agreement; a person may approve of an arrangement without feeling compersion.
Consent and emotional freedom
Nobody can promise a particular feeling on demand. Partners can agree on conduct and communication while leaving emotional responses free to develop or not.
Demanding visible happiness about a partner's other relationship may become invalidation or pressure, especially where practical impact is unequal.
Possible supports
Reassurance, reliable agreements, accurate information, time and a sense of one's own secure value may support positive responses. The useful approach differs between people.
Compersion is not limited to polyamory; people may recognise related feelings in friendship, family, teamwork or monogamous contexts.
Evidence limits
Researchers have developed early scales for compersion and studied associations with empathy, jealousy and satisfaction. Samples remain modest, culturally specific and mainly self-report.
An association with satisfaction does not prove that teaching compersion will improve a relationship or that low compersion causes difficulty.
Common misunderstandings
Feeling compersion is not proof that every agreement is fair, and feeling jealousy is not proof that an arrangement has failed. A person can welcome a partner’s happiness while being worried about time, privacy or a broken promise. Separate the emotion from the practical issue that needs a conversation.
Compersion is also different from permission. Being pleased about one connection does not authorise another, and approving an agreed arrangement does not require visible enthusiasm. A partner should not demand a particular expression or comparison with other people as evidence of love, maturity or commitment.
Safety and consent
Ask what information would help without assuming someone wants detailed accounts of another relationship. Other people’s privacy still matters. If a check-in brings mixed feelings, give room to describe them without immediately trying to correct them. A useful next step might concern time, reassurance or an agreement rather than changing an emotion.
The jealousy guide offers questions for understanding needs and boundaries. If an arrangement is maintained through threats, fear or punishment, emotional coaching is not the solution to the pressure. Independent support may be more appropriate. Nobody has to learn compersion before they are allowed to object to conduct that affects them.
Non-graphic examples
What the umbrella may include
Feeling pleased that a partner enjoyed a date.
Experiencing warmth and jealousy together.
Approving of a relationship while feeling emotionally neutral.
Requesting reassurance without asking a partner to end another bond.
Declining to perform enthusiasm one does not feel.
Prepare for an appointment
Questions you could ask a professional
What information would help you understand my question?
What are the realistic options and uncertainties?
How can disability, communication or privacy needs be accommodated?
When should the situation be reviewed again?
These prompts do not replace assessment and do not imply that every reader needs professional care.
Continue learning
Take the next step from definition to context.
Continue with independent guidance connecting compersion to evidence, consent, safety, uncertainty and practical decisions.
For health concerns, pressure or support after a boundary crossing, use the UK help directory. Describe the actual concern; you do not need a particular label to seek help.
The UK Kink GuideEvidence-led glossary