A partner of one's partner with whom one is not necessarily romantically or sexually involved.
Sources and evidence type
Manual claim and limitation notes are shown where an individual source audit is complete. Other evidence-type labels are a publisher aid awaiting source-by-source confirmation.
Scoats & Campbell (2022), CNM reviewResearch study
Source design
Peer-reviewed research or review
What it can support
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
Open the original source Balzarini et al. (2019), polyamorous relationship configurationsResearch study
Source design
Peer-reviewed research or review
What it can support
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
Illustration created using generative AI; not documentary evidence.
In brief
A partner's partner—not automatically one's friend or intimate.
Metamour names a relationship position within a consensually non-monogamous network, not a required type of closeness. Metamours may become friends, share practical information, remain politely separate or never meet. Each person controls their own contact and privacy.
No required closeness
Some networks value friendship and shared events; others prefer distance. Neither kitchen-table nor parallel practice is inherently more mature or ethical.
A partner should not force metamours into friendship, group intimacy or conflict mediation as a condition of maintaining their separate relationships.
Status
Detailed editorial draft
Publisher
The UK Kink Guide
Reviewed
Structured draft present; individual review date not recorded
Evidence
3 cited sources · types labelled below
Jurisdiction
UK-focused general education
Read the rest: evidence, law, safety and sources
Metamour
A partner's other partner, without implying direct romantic or sexual involvement.
Partner
A person with whom one has a directly defined relationship.
Kitchen-table polyamory
An informal preference for comfortable shared social contact among partners and metamours.
Parallel polyamory
An arrangement in which relationships operate more separately with limited metamour contact.
Information and privacy
Relevant safer-sex or scheduling information can be shared without disclosing another person's private messages, trauma history or detailed intimacy. Agree what travels through the network and who communicates it.
Metamours may choose direct communication, communication through the shared partner or a mixture. No method replaces consent to share sensitive information.
Shared partner and responsibility
The shared partner has responsibility for keeping their own agreements and managing commitments. Blaming metamours for every scheduling or boundary conflict can hide that responsibility.
Metamours can support one another, but neither is automatically responsible for the other's emotions, care or relationship repair.
Safety and power
Existing couples may hold housing, financial or social power affecting a newer metamour. Transparency about hierarchy and vetoes supports informed choice.
Harassment, surveillance or coercion is not normal network complexity. Use ordinary safeguarding standards regardless of relationship structure.
Non-graphic examples
What the umbrella may include
Metamours exchange only necessary scheduling information.
Two metamours become friends without sexual involvement.
A parallel arrangement limits direct contact.
Health information is shared without intimate narrative detail.
The shared partner owns a scheduling mistake rather than blaming a metamour.
Prepare for an appointment
Questions you could ask a professional
What information would help you understand my question?
What are the realistic options and uncertainties?
How can disability, communication or privacy needs be accommodated?
When should the situation be reviewed again?
These prompts do not replace assessment and do not imply that every reader needs professional care.
Continue learning
Take the next step from definition to context.
Continue with independent guidance connecting metamour to evidence, consent, safety, uncertainty and practical decisions.
The UK Kink GuideEvidence-led glossary