An approach that questions default relationship hierarchies and lets each connection develop through explicit values and agreements rather than prescribed categories.
Sources and evidence type
Manual claim and limitation notes are shown where an individual source audit is complete. Other evidence-type labels are a publisher aid awaiting source-by-source confirmation.
Scoats & Campbell (2022), CNM research reviewResearch study
Source design
Peer-reviewed research or review
What it can support
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
The specific population, measures and findings reported by the paper.
Important limitation
It cannot automatically establish UK prevalence, causation, diagnosis, consent or an individual outcome. Check recruitment, definitions and study design.
Illustration created using generative AI; not documentary evidence.
In brief
Relationships built deliberately rather than from a preset ladder.
Relationship anarchy treats labels such as romantic partner, friend and primary as descriptions rather than automatic packages of rights. People decide what care, commitment, intimacy or practical entanglement belongs in each relationship. It does not mean absence of responsibility, agreement or communication.
Questioning default packages
Conventional labels may imply expectations about time, exclusivity, cohabitation, sex, holidays or decision-making. Relationship anarchy invites people to choose these elements separately.
Rejecting defaults does not require rejecting commitment. A person may make deep, durable promises while declining conventional rank or ownership language.
Status
Detailed editorial draft
Publisher
The UK Kink Guide
Reviewed
Structured draft present; individual review date not recorded
Evidence
3 cited sources · types labelled below
Jurisdiction
UK-focused general education
Read the rest: evidence, law, safety and sources
Relationship anarchy
A values-led approach resisting automatic hierarchy and predefined bundles of obligation.
Non-hierarchical polyamory
Polyamorous practice avoiding formal rank; it overlaps with but is not identical to relationship anarchy.
Solo polyamory
Polyamory that often preserves personal independence and avoids merging households or finances.
Relationship hierarchy
Explicit or practical priority assigned to some relationships over others.
Autonomy and mutual responsibility
Autonomy means each person directs their choices; it does not mean acting without regard for foreseeable impact. Honest information is needed where another person's health, time or consent depends on it.
Every relationship participant can set boundaries and leave incompatible arrangements. No philosophy creates entitlement to intimacy or exemption from keeping agreements.
Power still exists
Marriage, housing, parenting, disability support, finances and public recognition can create practical hierarchy even when nobody uses hierarchical labels. Naming these effects helps make choices more informed.
Equal dignity does not require identical time or resources. Fairness is negotiated in context rather than measured by a universal formula.
Evidence and terminology
Relationship-anarchy-specific research remains limited and is often included within broader CNM studies. Community usage also varies across countries and networks.
The label should therefore be treated as a self-description, not a prediction of behaviour, relationship quality or willingness to connect.
Non-graphic examples
What the umbrella may include
A friendship receives long-term caregiving commitment without becoming romantic.
Partners choose separate finances despite emotional closeness.
Someone discusses practical couple privilege rather than denying it.
Each relationship negotiates its own privacy and time expectations.
A person declines hierarchy while still honouring specific promises.
Prepare for an appointment
Questions you could ask a professional
What information would help you understand my question?
What are the realistic options and uncertainties?
How can disability, communication or privacy needs be accommodated?
When should the situation be reviewed again?
These prompts do not replace assessment and do not imply that every reader needs professional care.
Continue learning
Take the next step from definition to context.
Continue with independent guidance connecting relationship anarchy to evidence, consent, safety, uncertainty and practical decisions.
The UK Kink GuideEvidence-led glossary