Use the checklist as a conversation
Negotiation is the ordinary work of making a shared idea specific enough that each adult can freely choose it. A checklist helps remember questions; it cannot measure consent or turn an answer into a permanent permission slip. Start by naming the activity or role in plain language. Ask what each person hopes to experience, what they do not want, and whether the idea is only for discussion. The printable worksheet gives space for notes without requiring names or intimate details. If nipple toys are under discussion, the nipple-toy buying guide explains release, limits and circulation warnings before any purchase.
How to use the Yes, No, Maybe list
This adults-only list is a conversation starter, not a contract. Any answer can change at any time. Yes means a topic you may welcome, not automatic consent to an activity. No means do not propose it as part of a plan. Maybe means no agreement yet. Curious means wanting to understand more, not agreeing to participate. A blank answer has no implied meaning. Use the list privately first and share only what you freely choose.
The on-page choices are not stored or sent anywhere by this checklist. Printing creates a copy on your own device or printer, so consider who may see it. The page does not submit answers or attach them to an account. Shared devices, printer queues and saved PDF files still need your own privacy decisions. Discuss matching answers in ordinary language, including what each person means, exclusions and a way to stop. The labels are not instructions, risk ratings or a recommended itinerary.
Define the invitation and its limits
Describe the intended setting, people, timing, roles and broad actions. If a word such as restraint, authority or teasing is used, ask what it means to each person. The hard and soft limits entry explains why a negotiable condition differs from a firm no; neither is an obligation to go further. Include the apparently small details that could change the experience: names, words, clothing, visibility or who may enter a room. Leave open questions on the list instead of filling them with assumptions.
Ask whether each person is free to choose today. Fatigue, stress, relationship conflict, intoxication, practical dependence or fear can make an otherwise tidy plan unsuitable. A written answer from last week may no longer describe a person's wishes. The CPS guidance in England and Wales describes consent as continuing and potentially conditional in BDSM contexts. Scotland and Northern Ireland have distinct law; no checklist is a legal determination.
The restraint and impact categories name interests without teaching techniques. They require separate risk assessment, and agreement alone does not establish safety or legality. This list deliberately leaves out higher-risk subjects that need specialist consideration. There is no expectation to complete every category or progress through the list. If a conversation becomes pressure, stop using the form and read talking to a partner or the UK support directory as appropriate.
Plan communication and stopping
Ask how either person can pause, stop, leave a role and seek help. Ordinary no and stop remain effective. A safeword or accessible gesture can add clarity, but it requires an agreed response and a backup if speech, hearing, movement or a connection fails. If a person becomes unresponsive or communication is unclear, stop without waiting for the special signal. The signal guide explains the difference between a tool for communication and consent itself.
Decide what a pause looks like. Does everyone become still, move apart, switch to ordinary names or end completely? Ask what needs immediate attention if something changes, and do not make a person argue their way out of an activity. Scope stresses individual access needs and pace in intimate communication. A system that one participant cannot reliably use is not an effective system, regardless of how familiar it sounds in a community.
Include privacy, health and practical context
Treat photographs, audio, messages, storage and disclosure as separate choices. Agree whether a venue, housemate, organiser or friend could encounter the activity or information about it. The digital consent entry distinguishes participation from permission to record or share. Ask about travel, leaving, access to a phone and any supplies needed for comfort. Do not assume that a familiar partner already knows all of this; circumstances change.
A person can mention relevant health, access or medication factors without being required to disclose a diagnosis to a partner. If an activity has specific physical risks, use current qualified education and the relevant health guide rather than this general list. The checklist does not make an injury safe or lawful. Agree what would trigger medical attention and who can help if a plan fails. Consider the entire setting, including fatigue, heat and the practical ability to stop.
Agree the ending and the next conversation
Ask what each person may want as the scene ends: an ordinary-name check, quiet, water, space, a safe way home or a later message. Aftercare is a preference, not a reward for completing the plan. Someone who directed a scene may also need care; someone else may want solitude. Record only the practical details worth remembering and agree when to revisit them. The aftercare guide offers options without claiming a universal routine.
Afterwards, ask whether any part was surprising or unwelcome, and accept that an answer may take time. A later discussion can change future boundaries but cannot revise consent after the fact. If someone says a limit was crossed, stop treating the checklist as the final authority and focus on safety, the person's choices and accountability. The response guide addresses that situation. Keep or delete notes with attention to both people's privacy and any independent need for help.